Already Gone
by ehliza
Summary: I keep telling myself it is the right thing to do. And I hope that one day, you will understand I did this out of love. One-shot.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bones, nor do I own Kelly Clarkson's song Already gone, that inspired me.

**A/N:** It's not a Stardust update, I know and I am so sorry, I guess I could say that my life got in the way, there was few huge turns. Currently I'm kind of in a limbo of my life. Hopefully not for long. This one-shot is not beta-read, but I wanted to put this little baby of mine online anyway, because I miss you guys and I promise you, that Stardust will be updated. I have few pages typed out, but I need to put more in the chapter. So in short, it's 3am here, I'm sorry if it's kinda OOC and if there are some mistakes - as you may know, English is not my native language. So if you feel like it, leave me a review, please.

* * *

As I look through the side window of my car, I cannot help it but hold my breath to keep the emotional turmoil inside of me from exploding.

It's not even 4 am, but the sun is already visible on the horizon and my fingers trace patterns on the misty glass of the window. One deep sigh, one hard bite at my lower lip and I am almost ready to reach out and turn the key in the ignition of my car.

I know that this is something that I have to and need to do, yet I am still sitting across the street from my apartment building and watching the darkened windows of the place I have called home for a few years now.

I know that up there, in my bed and under my covers, is a man, deeply asleep. A man, who turned my life upside down, but made it better along the way. Made _me_ a better person.

Or so we thought.

I suppose that me, leaving him, does not make me a good person anymore.

I do love him, there is no reason for me to deny that.

There used to be a time, when I did not believe in love. I believed only in scientific facts based on truth and researches.

And yes, he changed that too, of course, as if you couldn't see that already.

Maybe it's because I am a different person now. I could try to delude myself with that. But it'd be incredibly far from the truth.

The reason why I'm here now is completely obvious to me.

I am in love with my partner. And I know that I'm not the right woman for him. Your _soulmate_, as Angela likes to call it, wants to keep you happy, content, loved. And I even though I cannot imagine my life without him, I'm terrified that the day, when he would get up in the morning and I wouldn't see his love for me in his eyes anymore, would come.

And somehow, someway, my instinct is telling me, that this day is on the horizon, just like the sun. Inevitably coming to take everything from us, because our perfection is not enough or maybe too much for this world.

I made him his favourite meal for dinner yesterday. We made love afterwards and I almost started to cry when he'd confessed his love for me again. We quietly talked, he held me so lovingly. When he'd fallen asleep, I laid awake in his arms for the rest of the night.

Does it really make me a terrible person, when all I want for him is to be happy? To have the life he'd always dreamed of? The white fence, children playing on the porch, a wife?

I'm leaving him even though it's tearing me apart and I know it will him too. I'm doing it because I doubt I'd ever be able to give him those things.

I'm not as socially naive as I used to be. I'm not even so closed off as a few years ago. I can actually see things around me now. Notice other people. Recognize his desires and dreams.

I've known him for six years. We admitted our feeling in the dawn of our fifth year. Our first real kiss was perfect and we haven't been able to walk away from it since then.

I believe that during our time I was able to help him over-come the ghosts of his past. Just as he did with those of my equally dark and painful history.

I want to believe that I set him free.

I'm turnign the key in the ignition now. It's time for me to go, to give him the chance to have the life I want for him. Even when I didn't exactly believe in love, I knew, that the person, who loves you more than their life, wouldn't take your dreams from you.

As I drive away from DC, from my life and the man, who was, is and always will be my „the one", I finally let the tears fall down my face.

_I want you to move on, so I'm already gone._


End file.
